Heart Rose Meditation Redux

heart rose

It’s a year since the loss of my brother and my friend. When loving-kindness practice matures compassion deepens. This article contains some inspiring quotations and a very simple and beautiful loving kindness meditation focused on letting go of attachment through opening the heart.


Attachment, Love and Desire

Attachment is “dö chag” in Tibetan, which literally means “sticky desire”. There is a stickiness, neediness, dependency, and self-centeredness associated with attachment. It’s “I need you to make ME happy”, as opposed to “I want to make YOU happy”, which is actual love.

Attachment is all about me and what I can get from you, and love is all about what I can give or do for you. Attachment weakens us, and we give away the key to our happiness. Love strengthens us, and we stay in charge of our happiness. — Love, attachment and desire 

In a quiet place where you will not be disturbed, sit comfortably with an erect spine and simply breathe allowing your body to relax with every exhalation.  Just breathe and as you breathe visualize your heart slowly opening petal by petal like a rose blossoming.

heart roseExtracts from Meditation by Sri Chinmoy

“Just as you can concentrate on the tip of your finger, or on a candle or any other material object, you can also concentrate on your heart.

To reach the spiritual heart you have to feel that you do not have a mind, you do not have arms, you do not have legs, you have only the heart.

Then you have to feel you do not have the heart, but that you are the heart. When you can feel that you are the heart and nothing else, then easily you will be able to reach your spiritual heart during your meditation.”

1. Feel love radiating from your heart center like a sun, sending out a warm, caring, nurturing light to all it touches.

2. Think of someone in your life to whom you would like to radiate love. Imagine that you can sense the light in this person’s heart center.

3. Let your affection pour through you from your heart center outwards as you focus on the other person. Sense the other person becoming more joyful in the presence of your warmth.

4. Send out your heart’s serenity and peace. Let this energy permeate your relationship. Picture yourself peaceful and calm with this person.

5. Breathe in; become patience. Breathe out and imbue the other person with your patience.

6. Allow your heart to expand your sense of freedom. Radiate this quality to the relationship. Feel how freedom expands the potential of your connection.

7. See the other person through heart’s eyes of tender affection. Focus on the strengths of this person acknowledging his or her goodness, beauty, and light.

8. Release your need for this person to change or grow. Love and accept this person for whom he or she is right now.

9. Finish by radiating unconditional love to this person. Let it flow out from you—a gentle, nurturing, forgiving, compassionate loving kindness. Enjoy the feeling that comes from the loving tenderness flowing from your heart center.


The simplest way of describing Non-Attachment is as the process of letting go. We gradually learn to let go of our attachments and aversions, systematically moving through subtler and subtler layers of attachments in the mind. However, Non-Attachment goes beyond this; it is not just a practice of letting go, but is a practice of not taking on in the first place. Non-Attachment is not a process of suppression or repression of wants, wishes, desires, thoughts, or emotions. It comes by the ongoing practice of awareness of the existence of attachments and gradually letting these weaken.

All human relationships are opportunities to practice compassion, loving-kindness, generosity and mutual support. A long-term relationship is an opportunity to go deeper and cultivate these qualities. When we have our defenses down and allow ourselves to be vulnerable to another person, we have the opportunity to explore deeply the nature of our own egos, desires, and expectations. We can challenge ourselves to aspire toward an enlightened relationship — one which is marked by a pure, unselfish, and unconditional love. — Love, sex, and non-attachment


  1. I learned TM some years ago (may have said this before). I found it really good, especially when I want to go to sleep, not so good when I don’t as I still drift off. Recently Partner taught me one of his martial arts techniques about energy flow. Wicked. I could feel it zinging through me.

    We don’t spend enough time getting in touch with ourselves.

    • Hi there,
      I’m happy to know you appreciated this practice. Creative visualization and loving kindness meditations are such practical and powerful tools for personal growth.

  2. I enjoyed reading over the meditation as I’ve had a very frustrating week with my mother. I gave up trying to change her years ago, but her self-centeredness is so frustrating. This week she roped my daughter into the madness. Thankfully my daughter remained patient and got her back off the phone without a further incident.

    I don’t know where I’m going with this comment. I do not want to diminish your pain over losing your brother. I’d feel the same way if I lost my sister as we’re so very close. Loss is hard and there’s no real good road map to navigate it either.

    Thanks for the lovely comment you left on my blog (I haven’t gotten around to answering them yet). I am having a good summer, even with all the rain and humidity. One of the big things I’ve missed with the blogging is to just sit and read and I’ve been doing a lot of that. And really enjoying it too! Lately I’m rereading Faye Kellerman’s books and am about 3/4 of the way through the series.

    How about you? How is your summer going?


    • I had many frustrating moments, days, months and years with my mom. It’s going on to 2 years since she died. My summer is going well. We have friends visiting all summer. They come and go in couples and groups. It’s great to be able to spend some time with them. The weather is excellent and we are enjoying every minute of it.

    • Hi Cecilia,
      It’s a year since I lost both my brother and my friend. Though I have let go and the grief is gone I will always cherish the memories I have of them.

      I have been practicing this heart rose meditation frequently this week. As I sit on my deck among the roses I am sending my love out from my heart center to those who grieve their passing still.

      P.S. I’m so happy you returned safe and sound from your trip to Canada. It was so interesting to read your impressions of a place I know so well and hold so dear.

      May you be well and happy

      • Your strength is a lesson in the power of the mind.. I keep my grief in a little package, Actually i see it as a little box in my mind. I don’t mind keeping it, like you do, as a memory. I know what is in the box. But most of the time I prefer to keep the lid shut and the ribbon firmly knotted. Grief has its rhythm and its time, we need to sit with it for a while – then the strong, and you are one of them, chooses to move ahead of the grief, without forgetting.

        I loved Canada for the scents of the mountains.. so clear and easy to read.. I just wanted to smell my way around it.. and we had wonderful weather too, We were very lucky!

        take care.. c

        • Thanks so much for that, Cecelia.
          When you can move beyond grief you don’t forget those who are gone. when the pain of grieving has passed, it becomes so much easier to connect to all your memories and clearly remember them as whole person. The ability to love the dead exactly exactly as they were, warts and all, for none are perfect helps us to love the ones we are with right now without attachment – unconditionally.

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